This is where I get to talk about all the challenges and victories about growing more and more open. I want this platform to be a place where tools can be found to promote openness. I want to encourage openness that uplifts and enlightens humanity.
Growing Open as You Age
This is past weekend was my birthday and I tend to reflect on my birthday. I think about all the obstacles I've had to contend with, all the risks taken, the gains and the losses; and whether or not I feel up for new challenges in the coming years. To me, this is one of the adventures of aging. The growing tendency to want to relax more as I age; the desire to sit back and...
Photo by LaurieGnt
This is past weekend was my birthday and I tend to reflect on my birthday. I think about all the obstacles I've had to contend with, all the risks taken, the gains and the losses; and whether or not I feel up for new challenges in the coming years. To me, this is one of the adventures of aging. The growing tendency to want to relax more as I age; the desire to sit back and enjoy "harvesting" whatever's been "planted" is real and it's dangerous. It is an ever-present threat to slow me down! Or worse yet, shut me down completely!
I'm noticing how often I'm tempted to feel as though I know what to do in a given situation because I'm recalling what happened in the past. It's so easy to think to myself, "Last time I did this, "such and such" happened. So this time, I won't do this. Or last time I said that, "such and such" was the response, so this time I won't say "such and such". I have more history behind me with each passing year and feel experienced in a lot more ways than I did in my youth. This outlook can hinder trying new things: because I think I know what will happen. Similarly, I may be tempted to do the same things over and over again, believing I'll get the same desirable outcome each time.
The lessons from experience can be advantageous, but using past experiences as templates for how to behave in future experiences can be a great stumbling block to my continued growth. Deep down, I know there are limitless places from where I can learn new lessons, if I'm open to it. As Job 32:9 reminds us "It is not only the old who are wise, not only the aged who understand what is right". Sometimes, it's some "kid" who seems like a "hot mess" in some ways that teaches me some really valuable lesson.
Also, it's crucial to the enjoyment of life to stay open to discovery. If I greet everything with a "been there, done that" attitude, familiarity will stale everything and I'll be older, but not necessarily wiser; and, Lord knows, I don't want that!
There's a real danger of bitter roots setting in if I allow myself to stop talking about things I want or asking for changes I want to see because I've lost hope that things could be any different. It takes real commitment and faith to continue believing people can change (myself, especially). God knows what we want and he knows when we're losing faith in ourselves or other people too.
Psalm 38:9 says, "All my longings lie open before you, Lord; my sighing is not hidden from you", so the source of us all knows our desires and can supply our longings or not. But if he gave me whatever I asked for right away with no waiting period, where would the faith be in that? How would I grow if it came right away? The growth happens in the waiting...and practicing faith, believing while living through the waiting.
I think what I'm seeing as I age is the importance of holding onto my willingness to be vulnerable and open to new experiences. Consenting to learning, growing, speaking up, and seeking understanding of others' points of view will likely lead to growing old, not just gracefully, but faithfully!
How about you? How do you keep growing as a person as you age?
Staying Open in the Face of Hatred
The past few weeks have been a painful exposé of systemic racism within law enforcement all over the country with the recent publicity of the killings of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling. The outcry of citizens demanding police accountability has been met, not only by public support for reform, but also by racist rants on social media condemning the victims. We've even had the misfortune of seeing...
The past few weeks have been a painful exposé of systemic racism within law enforcement all over the country with the recent publicity of the killings of Philando Castile and Alton Sterling. The outcry of citizens demanding police accountability has been met, not only by public support for reform, but also by racist rants on social media condemning the victims. We've even had the misfortune of seeing an American so fed up he took matters into his own hands and shot several policeman at random. And we saw him blown up in retaliation.
With this backdrop of hostility, fear, rage, and hatred, it's a tall order to take the time to consider openness and growing more accepting. It's tempting in this climate to retreat, reclude, and close off. That seems most safe in these times. There's a scripture in Proverbs 16:25 that says, "There is a way that appears to be right, but in the end it leads to death". So many things appear right to us because we're human, but we may be setting ourselves up for death.
Growing in a healthy way (i.e. more peaceful, patient, kind, gentle, etc.) requires letting new information in and evaluating it. When we close off we cannot take in new material, but rather we take in only what adds to the narrative we're stewing in. Sometimes it's good to check ourselves to see if we're setting ourselves up for good decision-making. The Center for Applied Rationality has a useful checklist if you're interested in becoming aware of your own habits.
If you're a person who wants to contribute to the world in a useful way, you might be stuck trying to figure out what you want to do with all this information; how you want to respond. Some react right away and share their thoughts on public platforms like Facebook and Twitter, but you want to add to the conversation in a way that's productive and most valuable. I hear you. I'm there too.
The anger and hatred that's clogging up my newsfeed on Facebook has served to keep my off the platform for awhile and likely caused me to miss a few items I might have benefitted from hearing; but alas, I have to keep my sanity.
My hope is for whoever reads this, to look at your own thoughts and actions toward your fellow man and choose the behaviors--moment to moment--of the higher self. If the whole world does that we'll all be more like our maker.